Monkey at the Movies: St. Vincent

I'm swamped with work (yay!) so I'll be brief.

If you haven't seen "St. Vincent" yet, go see it. Seriously. This is probably the best movie I've seen in a long time. It's as touching as it is funny. If Bill Murray doesn't get an Oscar nomination, something is wrong in Hollywood. (And the kid who plays the kid is wonderful.) Kudos also to Naomi Watts on her portrayal of a hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold with a twist.

Totally worth the price of admission.

(By the way.... "Guardians of the Galaxy" was the probably the best movie of the summer, and best soundtrack album. Looking forward to the sequel in a couple years.)

Pass the popcorn, y'all!

Monkey at the Movies: R U 4 Real? Srsly? WTF?!!

Mr. Monkey and I went to the movies this weekend. We saw "Batman: The Dark Knight Rises". No review here... y'all are all familiar with the Batman trilogy I'm sure, and you've probably already seen it anyway. It was pretty much what we expected... drama, conflict, gravelly voiced caped crusader, people gettin' beat up, people gettin' shot, blah blah blah... the usual Christopher Nolan Batman fare. Don't get me wrong, it was well done and entertaining. We enjoyed the movie itself. It was our theater experience that we had a problem with.

Now, if you've read this blog much, you're probably aware that Mr. Remarkable Monkey and I tend to see movies after they've been out a while, because we don't like crowded movie theaters. One of the reasons we don't like crowded cinemas is that with more people come more idiots, and neither of us has much patience for idiots. Pack a movie theater full of people and you're bound to get more slack jawed, irritating, rude, loud, smelly and/or obnoxious mouth breathers per square foot than he or I can comfortably deal with. And by comfortably I mean without having to rip a seat cushion from its frame and beat the hell out of someone.

So we were enjoying the Batman flick this weekend, despite some occasional quiet ring tones going off in nearby seats, when near the end of the movie, the woman seated directly in front of me pulled out her phone and started texting. You guys KNOW how much I hate inconsiderate assholes who insist on playing with their phones at the movies.

But being the understanding and sympathetic soul that I am, I didn't immediately haul off and kick her in the head. No. I waited patiently for a few minutes, thinking surely it must be an emergency situation and surely she will turn that shit off post haste. But no. She kept texting for several minutes, even showing her male companion the screen to share a chuckle, and then continued her text conversation. How rude!!

After a few minutes more, I leaned forward and politely said to her, "Excuse me, that's really distracting for the people sitting behind you." Her companion looked at me, but she ignored me and continued to text for another minute or two. Then she finally put her phone away, turned to me and said in a very snotty way, "I'll talk to YOU after the movie."

Oh goody. Can't wait.

So the movie ends, the credits roll, and I patiently waited for Ms. Text-A-Lot to speak up. She finally did, and what did she say? Well, it definitely wasn't an apology. It went something like this:

HER: "I don't appreciate that. I wasn't making any noise. I wasn't even TALKING on the phone!"
ME: "Dude, it doesn't matter. The light from your screen is bright and distracting for everyone behind you."

Of course, I didn't even get to finish the sentence before she's all in my face yelling, "I wasn't makin' no noise! That's why people like YOU need just mind your own fuckin' business!"

ME: "How can I mind my own business when you're flashing it in my face on your phone?"

I don't think she heard me. She was too busy yelling obscenities in her righteous indignation about me basically having the nerve to be inconvenienced by her glaring phone screen detracting from my movie-viewing pleasure. How dare I? She kept on ranting at me as she left the theater. Mr. RM and I just sat there in disbelief and wonderment at her incredible sense of entitlement and her complete lack of social graces.

Whatever, Beeyotch. I'm just sorry your mama didn't raise you right. And all of you other asinine imbeciles who think it's perfectly acceptable to use your phones in a movie theater, IT'S NOT OKAY, dumbass! I didn't pay good money to sit in the theater to be distracted by your brightly lit phone screens while you text your little friends, your boss, your babysitter or whoever it is. If you MUST take a message, step out into the lobby while you do it. Same goes for taking or making calls, or checking your e-mail or newsfeeds. If you can't go two hours without using your phone, DON'T GO TO THE MOVIES!!! Feel free to do that shit in your own living room, but have some common courtesy for those around you at the cinema.

Don't even get me started on the crying babies and toddlers of folks who are too cheap to hire a sitter... unless it's a movie geared for children, leave 'em at home or remove them from the theater if they are crying. You may be immune to the shrieks of your offspring, but the rest of us are not.

I am continuously amazed and baffled by the thoughtless inconsideration of others in public places. Is it just me??

Monkey at the Movies: The Descendants

We finally saw "The Descendants" last week. Totally worth the wait, and well-deserving of the award nominations and wins it has garnered. It's not a flashy film, and it's another somewhat deep, thought-provoking movie. (Mr. Remarkable Monkey says we have to see something lighter on our next outing to the cinema.) It's not overly dark... there's plenty of humor in it, but the characters are dealing with some pretty heavy situations. The beauty of the film is that it also manages to show the humorous aspect of those difficult situations. That's not to say it's a funny film in the comedic sense either... it's more a case of recognizing the absurdity that life can throw at you. Sometimes you've just gotta laugh.

The gist of the story is this: Matt King (played by George Clooney... rawr!), who has been a somewhat disconnected husband and father, suddenly finds himself thrust into the role of sole caretaker of his two daughters when his wife is left in a coma after a boating accident. He's a bit clueless about how to handle his 10-year-old daughter, Scottie (played by Amara Miller), who is having trouble dealing with her mother's hospitalization. Upon learning that his wife won't recover, he brings his rebellious 17-year-old daughter, Alex (played brilliantly by Shailene Woodley), home from boarding school. When she reveals to him that she caught her mother having an affair, Matt is stunned, and must now deal with a whole new layer of emotional turmoil.

Because his wife's living will requires that she be taken off life support, Matt has to inform her friends and family of her impending death, allowing them a few days to visit the hospital to say goodbye. He decides to seek out the other man, a real estate agent named Brian Speers (played my Matthew Lillard), partly to satisfy his curiosity about him, and partly to allow the man a chance to say goodbye. Alex becomes his sharp-tongued ally in the search to locate Speers. She drags along her friend Sid (Nick Krause), who initially seems like an empty-headed, shallow surfer dude. There's more to that kid than meets the eye, though!

Now, while all this is going on, Matt is also dealing with the decision of whether or not to sell the 25,000 acres of pristine land in Kuai that he and his many cousins own in a trust, handed down from generations ago. The trust will dissolve in seven years, and most of his cousins want to sell it. As the sole trustee, the final decision lies with Matt.

This is a man bearing many burdens, and Clooney's performance is a masterpiece of subtlety. For instance, you can read the inner conflict on his face when his father-in-law is ranting at him... you can see Matt swallow the urge to tell him about his "perfect" daughter's infidelity. Throughout the film, he is a man floundering and struggling with so many difficult issues, and yet he manages to keep his class and sense of humor. I wonder how many of us would be able to maintain the high road as well as Matt does if we found ourselves in his shoes.

I won't divulge any more of the story... it's one you really should see for yourself. If nothing else, the Hawaiian scenery is lush and gorgeous. The wonderful soundtrack is going on my Amazon wish list as well. And for the ladies, it's CLOONEY... what more do you need? Catch it quick though... while it's been given more screens since its Academy Award nominations, it won't be in theaters much longer.

Monkey at the Movies: The Help

One of my husband's favorite things to do is go to the movies. We try to go at least once a month, and it's usually on Sunday mornings (at some AMC Theaters, it's only $6 before noon). So I figured maybe I'd post an occasional review here, since I already did one (Horrible Bosses). Not that my opinion counts for much, but it might help you decide what flick you want to see on your next date night... As long as you don't mind it coming a bit late in the game... we're not crazy about crowded theaters, so we generally don't see movies until at least a week or two after the release date.

When I thought of having this blog's movie review post titles begin with "Monkey at the Movies:", I googled that phrase. There were really only a couple blogs already using it, which later combined into one (they were both by the same guy), and it doesn't appear to be currently active. So with a respectful nod to GeekMonkey (great confused minds think alike), I'm running with it.

Last night we saw The Help. I'd been meaning to read the book since I designed the invitation for my mom's book club luncheon when they read it a year and a half ago. I could NOT bring myself to see the movie until I read the book, so I bought it last week and finished it over the weekend. It's a wonderful book! I knew I was going to enjoy it when after only about 30 pages in, I had already laughed out loud four or five times.

The movie is also wonderful. I have to say, they took a lot of liberties with the book. (I'm sure they had to modify things to keep it within a 2-hour-or-so timeframe.) There are some pretty major differences in some details and plot lines, but the gist of the story remains intact. Emma Stone wowed me again with another engaging performance in her role as Skeeter (she was great in Crazy Stupid Love, not reviewed here but highly recommended). And who knew sweet little Ronny Howard's daughter (Bryce Dallas Howard as Hilly) could be so convincing as a completely evil bitch?? Viola Davis portrayed a gentle strength and courage as Aibileen. Paired with Octavia Spencer's brash and veracious Minnie, it's a delicious combo. The movie is studded with other actors who are always fun to watch... Sissy Spacek gives Missus Walters a lighthearted flair. Allison Janney as Charlotte Phelan imbues her character with a stubborn toughness that I didn't infer from the book. I was disappointed in Cicely Tyson's portrayal of Constantine... maybe it's just me, but Ms. Tyson seems to play the same character the same way in every film I've seen her in over the past couple decades. From the book, I envisioned a less feeble, more self-assured Constantine.

Overall, the movie works. At 2 hours 17 minutes, it's a bit long, but it keeps moving so it never "feels" long. There are laugh-out-loud moments, and some that may bring a few tears (I heard several weepy sniffs around me in the theater near the end). Don't get the wrong idea... it's not a tear-jerker by any means, and the overall message is a positive one. And can I just say, although America still has plenty of racial issues, as a country we sure have come a long way since the early 60's! It's hard to believe people ever thought that way, and that some still do. I also have to say that I may never look at a chocolate pie again without chuckling.

Monkey at the Movies rating? A whole bunch of bananas!