A Bolt From the Blue

The NHL is currently indulging in another lockout, with neither the players or owners seemingly willing to budge on how revenue is divided... revenue that reached a record $3.3 billion last year. $3.3 BILLION. That honey pot is currently split with the owners getting 43% and players getting 57%. The owners now want it split 50/50, which means the players will take a 12% pay cut. Naturally, the players don't want to do that.

Personally, I'm disgusted with both sides. To be totally honest, I've been a bit sour on the NHL since the last lockout in 2004-2005. I used to be an avid fan, especially of our own hometown Lightning, and enjoyed watching whatever NHL game was on ESPN or Versus or whatever channel we could find a game on. But when the owners and players forfeited an entire season squabbling over money, I lost my taste for the league. And now they're back at it.

Now, I can totally understand the players not wanting to take a 12% pay cut, but it's not like they're being asked to take a 12% pay cut on a $50,000 annual salary, which was about what the average US household income was in 2011. The minimum NHL player salary for the 2011-2012 season, per the last collective bargaining agreement, was $525,000. That's over a half a million dollars. A 12% pay cut would bring it down to $462,000 if my math is right. Goodness! How could we possibly ask someone to live comfortably on that paltry amount? Those poor, downtrodden lowest earners in the NHL... what a struggle they'd go through to make ends meet. Oh how they'd suffer! Such a tragedy. (Can you smell the sarcasm, people?) At the average US household income, it would take about nine years to earn what the lowest paid NHL player would make in one year, even after that 12% pay cut. NINE YEARS.

I'm not saying the owners are right in asking for such an abrupt and significant shift in the distribution of revenues. They agreed to the current numbers in the last CBA, so it seems a bit rapacious for them to be demanding such a quick jump in the new one. But the real problem is that neither side has yet to talk about this issue in their negotiations, even though it's the main point of contention! Come on, fellas... there's plenty of money for everybody. But by the time you figure it out and end the lockout, I'm guessing revenues will probably be down over last year. Maybe it's just me, but there are probably a lot of other soon-to-be-former fans who won't bother coming back to support the NHL. Y'all get paid for playing a game... a game that a lot of average slobs struggle to even be able to afford to play in local rec leagues.

Which leads me to the one bright spot I did see last week that gives me a shred of hope for the NHL, or at least for the Tampa Bay Lightning. It was a segment on the local news about the startup of a local recreational hockey league for military veterans. Hockey is an expensive sport to play. I can attest to that fact from past personal experience, being a former co-ed rec league player for several years. Ice time doesn't come cheaply, and neither does the equipment. The founder of this league, a veteran himself, is trying to make it affordable so that veterans can enjoy the physical activity and the camaraderie of being part of a hockey team. And here's where the Lightning come in... Since the ice at the Forum isn't being used due to the NHL lockout, the Lightning has allowed the Veterans Hockey League to use it. That's some fine ice, there! I had the privilege of playing on it myself a couple of times a few years ago. They also donated their practice jerseys, and have committed to giving the veterans league ice time even when the lockout ends. What a great way to show appreciation for their service to our country!

Yes, that's really me... making a snow angel at center ice at
the Forum, which was still called the Ice Palace at the time.

Tampa Bay Lightning owner Jeff Vinik is a class act. Despite the BS going on with the CBA negotiations, Mr. Vinik remains high in my regard. I have a nephew currently serving in Afghanistan. He played hockey as a kid, and it warms my heart to know that he may be able to enjoy playing in this league someday. Hopefully, he'll be able to skate on the ice at the Forum too.

If you'd like more information about the Veterans Hockey League, or if you're a vet interested in playing in the league, check out their website here. They also have a Facebook page, a Twitter account, and LinkedIn page. If you're lucky enough to find you have a few extra dollars to spare, I'm sure they'd appreciate a donation. I'll bet even those impoverished and beleaguered NHL players and owners could cough up a couple nickels if they were so inclined. If you ask me, I think both sides should take 49% of the revenues, and establish a charitable fund to benefit organizations like the Veterans Hockey League with the remaining 2%. But I won't hold my breath.

Thunder, Lightning and Giant Evil Toads

We had a couple storms move through our area yesterday and early this morning. Unlike the recent tornado-spawning storms in other parts of the country, we suffered no major damage. Just had some potted plants and patio furniture blown over, and our tomato plants took a beating. We didn't even have TOO many lightning strikes.

The Lightning DID strike hard in Boston last night though, as the Bolts played hard to a decisive win over the Bruins in Game One of the NHL Eastern Conference finals! It was a fun game to watch... unless you're a Boston fan. Gotta say, Tampa Bay's new owner, Jeff Vinik, seems truly committed to this team and this area. He's brought credibility back to the franchise, especially with the hiring of the great Steve Yzerman as general manager. In turn, in what seems to have been a genius move, Yzerman brought in new head coach Guy Boucher, who previously had only one year of experience as a pro coach in the AHL. Together, they've managed to bring out the dormant potential of the team. Can they win the Stanley Cup this year? Only time will tell, but they've definitely been playing like serious contenders. One game at a time, boys... We'll be watching and rooting for ya!

The storms yesterday and last night also may have been responsible for unleashing a treacherous menace in our backyard. While our dog and I were relaxing on the patio with the Sunday paper, I noticed movement by the fence out of the corner of my eye. I looked over to see a GIANT EVIL TOAD! No, seriously. It was a poisonous Giant Toad, also known as a Cane Toad or Marine Toad. Formerly known scientifically as Bufo marinus, now scientifically known as Rhinella marina, which sounds like some kind of sinus infection. These things are big and nasty! They also secrete a toxic substance that can kill pets, so I was really hoping our dog (who has a penchant for chasing lizards and frogs) wouldn't see it before my husband could distract him and get him inside. As soon as he was safely in the house, I grabbed a broom and the battle with the Giant Evil Toad commenced, with me pushing and flipping the slimy enemy toward the gate.

He did NOT go quietly. And yes, he secreted lots of the toxic ooze they're famous for. It's gross. It looks like sticky iced coffee, and unless something else was wafting in on the breeze, it smells bad too! I dueled the offensive thing out the gate and to the edge of yard, and was planning to go further when my husband came out and said, "Don't kill it! If you push it into the road it will get run over!" Now, maybe it's just me, but when faced with the choice of preserving my beloved dog's health and safety, or showing mercy to a nasty poisonous toad, I'm gonna choose my dog every time! I cannot believe my husband seemed to be feeling sorry for the toad! But to "compromise", I scooted the vile creature all the way across the road, where it hopped through a puddle and proceeded into someone else's yard. At least I don't think they have pets. Personally, if the thing hadn't been so big and fat and prehistorically gross, I probably would have left it in the middle of the street, got in the car and run over it myself.

I hope it's not over there in the neighbor's yard, plotting its revenge.

Sweeeeep!

Things were relatively quiet in the TV room last night, so I was actually able to enjoy watching part of the Lightning playoff game. What a game, too! Someone must have called shenanigans, cuz the whole team went home and got their brooms. (Bonus points if you know that reference.) Swept the Caps in four!! Wheeeee!

So today, a friend of mine emailed me one of the funniest hockey jokes I've ever heard....

A guy walks in to a bar and the bartender says "What will you have?" 

The guy replies "I'll have an Ovechkin please." 

The bartender asks "What's that?" and the guy says, "A White Russian without a Cup!"

I'm guessing the folks in DC probably don't find it as hysterical as I do.

As for the Lightning, it's on to the Conference finals. Good luck, Bolts!