Just Let It Go

One of my former bosses passed away recently, after a long battle with cancer. I had trouble deciding if I should go to her memorial service. After all, I hadn't seen or spoken to her in almost ten years, since the day she fired me. While struggling with my decision, I asked some friends and relatives for their input. Most of them basically said, "Screw it... you don't owe her anything."

But here's the thing... the only beef I had with her was how she handled the situation in which I was fired. To this day, I'm still not sure exactly what happened. I have a theory or two though, and I believe my supervisor at the time was mostly responsible. As far as I knew, things were fine. Eight or nine months before my termination, another employee was let go. That poor girl never saw it coming, and when the subject was brought up in a staff meeting, I had said that if my job was ever in jeopardy, I hoped someone would let me know so I could stop or start doing whatever I needed to before it came to that. Later that day, my boss made a point of coming to my office to talk to me. She told me I was doing a great job and assured me that if I was ever in danger of losing my job, she would let me know so I could get back on track.

Well, that didn't happen. Several months later, exactly two weeks after my three-year annual review with my immediate supervisor, I was being called into the supervisor's office for a chat with her and my boss. That's when I was handed my walking papers. Out of the blue. No heads up, no warning, no explanation. My guess is that, during my annual review, my supervisor didn't appreciate me asking to take on more of the tasks that she usually farmed out to her freelancing pals, or maybe it was because I asked for a salary increase since I didn't get one with a promotion a few months earlier. Granted, my review had taken place the afternoon I had been rear-ended in an auto accident on my lunch hour, and I know I wasn't feeling as diplomatic as I should have been. I'm not good at ass kissing, and I have a really low tolerance for bullshit, and when I tried to argue my points with my supervisor, she clearly got her feathers ruffled, but said she'd talk to the boss about it.

At any rate, over the next two weeks, I didn't hear anything about my requests for more responsibility and a modest pay increase. I had planned to talk to my boss directly, but she was out of the office a lot those two weeks, and really busy when she was there. I remember telling my mom on my last Friday there that she was in the office that day, and that I was going to make sure I got five minutes with her. I never got that chance. All I got was the boot, though at least it came with a small severance package. I was devastated.

So that's why my friends and family wondered why in the hell I would even think about attending her service. That's also why I struggled with the decision. I never got a straight answer about why I was fired, and my boss didn't keep her word about warning me if losing my job was ever a possibility. To this day, I still don't know what I did to cause (or justify) my termination.

Aside from that, though, I really enjoyed my time in her employ, and had the opportunity to do some really great (and award-winning) work. When I first heard she was sick a few years ago, I hoped for her recovery, and tried hard to let go of any grudges. I had a lot of respect for her... she was a mover and a shaker in our city, and an innovator in our field. For that reason, I decided to attend her service. I just felt that I should be there to honor all the qualities I admired in her, and to pay my last respects despite the circumstances in which we parted ways.

There were tons of people there... so many that the main sanctuary of the church was full. I ended up in the fellowship hall with the overflow crowd. Not many overflow folks when I arrived, but even that hall filled up eventually. I picked a spot in the back row, and viewed the service on the big screen they had set up. It was a really nice service, with a few laughs and a few tears. It reinforced a lot of the fond memories I had of my former boss, and so I'm really glad I went. She was a phenomenal woman and she will be missed.

There was one part in the service where someone was saying that no one could ever question her integrity. That's when a petty thought flickered through my mind: "Well, I can." And even though that may be true from my perspective, I still feel a little bad about thinking it. That's not what I was there for and that callous thought surprised even me. I guess I haven't completely let go of that grudge. But I'm trying.

Rest in peace, Boss.

Monkey at the Theatre

Another quick review here... I recently had the opportunity and good fortune to attend a showing of the Broadway musical "Million Dollar Quartet" when the tour came through our city. (Thanks to my bro-in-law for the tickets!) If you didn't know, the show is a fictionalized account of an actual event: the night of December 4th, 1956, when Carl Perkins, Elvis Presley, Johnny Cash and Jerry Lee Lewis all got together in the studio at Sun Records in Memphis.

I don't know what it was REALLY like that day at Sun Records, but the Broadway version is fantastic! The actors were pretty much spot on in their portrayals of the four legends, and very entertaining. They are also all actual musicians, and their immense talent made the show that much more enjoyable. The fellow who played Jerry Lee Lewis nearly stole the show, his character every bit as flamboyant as Jerry Lee "The Killer" Lewis was rumored to be. (He's the last of the four still currently living, and is probably not overly flamboyant these days.)

The Million Dollar Quartet in 1956
(L-R: Jerry Lee Lewis, Carl Perkins, Elvis Presley, Johnny Cash)

The story (which again, is fictionalized) weaves around the characters, touching on some what was happening with them at the time. It's peppered throughout with some of these legends' biggest hits, and also includes one or two of the gospel songs that the foursome actually played during that jam session back in 1956.

If you live near New York, Chicago or London, or if the touring company makes a stop near your town, it's definitely worth checking out. It's truly a rockin' good time!

Monkey at the Movies: Young Adult

Despite losing the AMC gift card intended for Mr. Remarkable Monkey, we ventured out to the cinema on Monday to see "Young Adult". (Before noon, of course, when it's only $6. That's how we roll.)

Written by Diablo Cody ("Juno") and directed by Jason Reitman ("Juno", "Up In the Air"), the film is darkly humorous. A ghost writer for a young adult book series, Mavis Gary (played by Charlize Theron) is struggling  with her personal demons. A former high school cheerleader, she is now divorced, her teen book series is coming to an end, and she's having a difficult time meeting deadlines for the last installment of the collection. When she receives a birth announcement from her old high school sweetheart, Buddy (played by Patrick Wilson), Mavis begins a slow spiral into the depths of desperation. She decides to visit her hometown of Mercury, Minnesota, with a plan to steal her former beau from his wife and new baby, thinking that somehow that will magically make her life "perfect" again.
 

While in Mercury, she develops an unlikely friendship with former classmate Matt Freehauf (played by Patton Oswalt), who has demons of his own. Theirs is truly a dysfunctional relationship, though it seems EVERY relationship Mavis has is dysfunctional. She is a seriously unlikable character, totally self-absorbed and lacking in social morality, though it becomes evident that this is partly because she is so damaged. Her breathtaking beauty belies the repulsive mess inside. Charlize Theron plays her to perfection, almost eliciting sympathy... you can see the pain and self-doubt just behind the narcissism and pettiness. In the scene with Buddy's wife's band, you can almost feel her heart breaking. (Watch it yourself and you'll see what I mean.)

As she spins further and further out of control, you wonder if she'll ever get herself together. No spoilers here... you'll have to watch the movie to find out.

I will say this: It struck me that this film is a great example of what can happen when one gets stuck dwelling on the past and former glory. It ain't pretty. Keep moving forward, friends... happiness doesn't live in the past.

Monkey at the Movies rating: It's broodingly amusing, and fun to see Charlize Theron play someone so deliciously flawed. I'll give it 3.5 out of 5 bananas.

2012 Already?

Is it just me, or did the last half of December fly by like a rocket? It felt like I got lost in a whirlwind of activity as the month hurtled toward the holidays and on through the end of the year. The shopping, the parties, the baking, the cooking, the cleaning, the packing, the decorating.... I'm not sure I even caught my breath until we sat down for Christmas dinner. Last week was spent recuperating... I took some vacation time and had the whole week off, which I spent extremely unproductively for a change. (I also got a lecture from my mom because I didn't spend any of that time reading, aside from the Sunday paper. Way to harsh my couch-potato mellow, Mom!)

Some holiday highlights:

• Mr. Remarkable Monkey's company holiday dinner, where we enjoyed a fabulous meal at Ocean Prime. We'd never had the opportunity to dine there before... it's a bit out of our budget except for very special occasions... so it was a real treat with the boss picking up the tab. I also finally got to meet most of Mr. RM's coworkers. A pretty nice bunch of folks. Best thing I ate that night? Well, everything was delicious, but the crab cakes were the best I've ever had! Mostly crab, very little breading, and with a light and crispy panko crust. Mmmm! We'll definitely go back when we can.

• I managed to get almost all my packages in the mail by the mailing deadlines, thought admittedly I was scrambling to beat the last-minute rush. Two casualties: a package to my brother STILL remains to be sent, and I didn't finish knitting a blanket for a relative with a new baby. Oh well... that's what cold weather in January is for, right?

• Speaking of cold weather, we had very little of that in December here. Most days, the high temperatures were well above normal. Some folks don't like it, and complain that it doesn't feel like Christmas. It sure feels like Christmas to me... like Christmas in the wonderfully subtropical state I chose to live in! If you insist that it has to be cold at Christmas, you probably shouldn't live in Florida. I loved the warm weather! We're having record cold temps tonight... not really diggin' it, but it will help me appreciate the 70 degree temps we'll have by the end of the week even more. 

• Made three batches of buckeyes (peanut butter balls). That's 300 buckeyes... and it's a bit of a chore to make them. I don't even eat them myself... they're too sweet for me... but lots of friends and family clamor for them every year, so...

• Our pals who are living in Malaysia on a two-year work assignment were stateside for the holidays. They managed to squeeze some time into their hectic schedule to meet up with some of us for dinner one night. It was great to see them and catch up, and hear about their adventures in Penang! 

• Scored a ridiculous deal at HoneyBaked Ham. We went in to pick up a ham for our Christmas Even open house, and asked for one about nine pounds or so. (Mr. RM wanted me to get a big one so we could freeze some of it for later.) The lady behind the counter came out with a huge ham, and said, "Here's what we're gonna do... we've got way too many 11-pound hams, so we'll sell you an 11-pound ham at the 9-pound price if you'll take it." Oh hell yeah!! Can't pass up a deal like that! I'll be honest, though... right now, I am sick to death of ham. It may a while before I'm ready to thaw out some of that deliciousness.

• I lost a $30 AMC gift card that I purchased as a gift for Mr. RM. I have no idea where it is. It either got accidentally thrown out with some bags when I was gift wrapping stuff, or I put it in a "safe place" somewhere, and it may never been seen again. On the bright side, while I was tearing the house apart looking for it, I DID find a Target gift card in an old birthday card from my bro-in-law!

• Though my sister-in-law wanted to host Christmas Day dinner at her house, she didn't want to cook the turkey. So Mr. RM and I cooked up a 23 pounder Christmas morning, and with some advice from a wise coworker, we figured out how to pack it in a big cooler and transport it across town. That was an adventure in itself, and quite comical trying to maneuver a hot turkey into a cooler! It looked great when it came out of our oven, and we managed to pack it up unscathed. Unfortunately, my parents-in-law got behind schedule, and arrived about an hour and half late to dinner. The turkey had to go into the oven to maintain a safe temperature while we waited for them, and got a bit dried out by the time we sat down to eat. Oh well... we had already opened a few bottles of wine, so most of us were half in the bag and didn't mind so much. That's what gravy is for!

• Had to laugh when, while I was reheating casseroles for the delayed Christmas Dinner, the marshmallows on the sweet potato casserole puffed up, hit the heating element, and caught on fire. After I pulled out the pan and blew the flames out (hey... some people LIKE their toasted marshmallows flambeed!), Mr. RM made the following declaration: "You know how people say a man marries his mother? Well, Mrs. RM lost a Christmas gift and burned dinner... yep! Just like Mom!" I would have been mad it if hadn't been so funny. Or maybe it was just the wine.

• Watched "Casablanca" on TCM for the jillionth time the Tuesday after Christmas. I love that movie. I could watch it a jillion more times. It was actually a little chillly that day, so I curled up on the sofa with the dog, a lunch of leftover party food from our Christmas Eve open house, and a plethora of holiday cookies. Heaven.  (One of my favorite bits... love Claude Rains in this!)

• I got to have lunch with Mr. RM at our favorite restaurant, Red Mesa, two Fridays in a row! We were both off on the Friday before Christmas, and stopped on the way to the ham store. I was off the Friday before New Year's, and Mr. RM was able to leave work at noon, which presented another opportunity to indulge. Since he started his new job last spring, we rarely get to have lunch together anymore due to inhibitive geography, so it was a nice treat. If you're ever in the Tampa Bay area, I can highly recommend Red Mesa. I've never had anything there that wasn't delicious. Try the sangria, too!

• Had a low-key New Year's Eve at home with Mr. RM. I had intended to drop by and visit with a couple former coworkers (one from out of town) at an open house, then get home early so we could have a nice dinner and Mr. RM could watch the hockey game. Unfortunately, I didn't realize the hockey game started at 5:00 and not 7:30 as I had thought. So I didn't make it over to see my pals. And then Mr. RM got a little pissy because he put our big fat ribeye on the grill without realizing I had turned on the back burner to finish of the potatoes, and the steak got a little charred on one side. (I thought it was still delicious.)

• We started the year by sharing a big ol' pot of black eyed peas and a mess of collard greens with some friends. I gotta say... I DO make some damn tasty collard greens. No burned marshmallows!

Now, if only I could find that dang AMC gift card......

Bag It.

Has it become standard procedure for the cashier/check out person at the store to NOT hand you your bags when you complete a purchase? Seriously... this seems to be happening more and more often lately.

I first noticed it a while back, on one of our rare trips to WalMart. We went through the checkout, paid for our purchases, and the cashier didn't bother to hand us our bags. We had to spin the little bag thingy around and get them ourselves. I just figured, "Well, that's what I get for shopping at WalMart." (Have I told y'all how much I hate WalMart?? We'll occasionally venture into the new one near us, but mostly only because they carry the brand and flavor of yogurt Mr. RM likes.)

Then it happened at Publix once or twice. On one such occasion, there was even a cashier AND a bagboy, and neither bothered to hand me my bags. They just stood there jibber jabbering with one another while I had to reach over the bag stand to get my bags.

Yesterday, it happened at Target. And not only did the young man not hand me my bags, he proceeded to start ringing up the customer behind me before I could finish gathering my bags myself! What kind of freakin' customer service is THAT?? I'm generally friendly and nice to store staff members, so it's not like they're doing it because I've pissed 'em off. What's the deal?

I know... it sounds like a trivial point. Yes, I'm perfectly capable of picking up my own bags, but it's often a bit awkward trying to wrangle them from the customer side of the checkout counter. Plus, I just think it's kind of rude for the cashier not to at least assist with the bags. It's just plain poor customer service. Or maybe it's just me.

It's Bodhi Day

Image borrowed from the internet.

Today, Buddhists around the world are celebrating Bodhi Day. For many Buddhists, December 8th is recognized as the day that Siddhartha Guatama, after fasting and meditating beneath the Bodhi tree for 49 days, attained enlightenment and became the Buddha.

I'm not Buddhist, I'm more of a confused Taoist with Buddhist leanings, but I really like (and try to follow) a lot of the principles that Buddhism teaches. That's why I enjoy recognizing Bodhi Day as a way to honor those principles. And so I had a breakfast of rice and milk this morning, which legend says is the first meal the Buddha had upon his awakening. (Although I put a little cinnamon and sugar in mine.)

I'll also decorate my "Bodhi" tree tonight. Sure, it's really just a silk ficus tree, but it happily holds a string of colored lights (to represent the many pathways to enlightenment), a few strands of colored beads (to represent how all things are connected) and three shiny ornaments (to represent the Three Jewels of Buddhism: the Buddha, the Dharma and the Sangha). I'll also string some colored lights around my front door. And I'll try to remember to turn on the lights, and light a candle as well, for the next 30 days.

His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama

I'll also try to remember to practice the kind of mindfulness that Buddhism teaches. Hopefully, I can keep carrying that throughout the year.

By the way, did you know that the Dalai Lama has his own Facebook page? I don't know if it's REALLY his page, but it wouldn't surprise me. He's such a cool guy! No, seriously... this dude is made of awesome. He's funny, smart, well grounded and has some solid ideas on how people should live and behave. Who wouldn't want to friend him? His page ALMOST makes me want to reconsider my steadfast avoidance of Facebook.

If you'd like to learn more about how to celebrate Bodhi Day, you can find some info here, and here, and even here. Or you can Google for yourself!

Whatever your personal beliefs, I wish you all an enlightened Bodhi Day.

Dysfunction Defusion

The holiday season if fast approaching, and with it comes a lot of family stress for many folks. But your ol' pal, Remarkable Monkey, is here to help. I'm gonna share an amazing technique I've discovered that can instantly defuse most common family-dysfunction situations.

I stumbled upon this miraculous technique last Christmas at my in-laws. Now, don't get me wrong, I love my husband's family and they're really nice people. They're usually pleasant to be around and we generally have a good time. That being said, like a lot of families, tensions sometimes run high on holidays. Unreasonable expectations combined with crankiness, personal issues and family members pushing each others' buttons can bring things to the boiling point. That's just not fun for me, and I don't enjoy being around that, so I figured out a way to defuse it fast.

Here's the deal... Ya know how in every church choir and/or congregation, there's always one lady who fancies herself an opera singer? And ya know how that lady will sing in a very loud operatic style, badly? (You KNOW what I'm talking about!) Next time you're at a family holiday gathering and the bickering and button-pushing are reaching critical mass, just start singing carols at the top of your lungs, church-lady style. Your family will think you've lost your mind, but it's an instant tension releaser! Works like a charm, and is usually effective by just first or second line of whatever song you choose.

I just tried it again at my in-laws on Thanksgiving this year, and not only did it help keep everyone's mood light when folks started getting testy, my bro- and sis-in-law joined in a few times!

Remember... just sing those carols really loudly, and really badly in opera style. They'll probably laugh or start researching mental facilities for you. Either way, at least YOU'll have fun! Or maybe it's just me.

Seasonal Deliciousness Addendum...

I forgot to include this little item of food heaven in my previous post... Philadelphia Soft Cream Cheese in Pumpkin Spice flavor, another limited edition seasonal item. This stuff is awesome! Almost like pumpkin cheesecake in a tub! I've been spreading it on toasted whole grain Eggos and it makes them quite tasty, but I bet it would be FANTASTIC on graham crackers or even ginger snaps. Mmmmmm.... on ginger snaps..... ***drooooool!*** I'm gonna have to try that, I think.

Seasonal Deliciousness...

It's that time of year... the time when we get to enjoy tasty treats that, for some reason, we usually only get this time of year. You already know how I feel about Publix Pumpkin Pie ice cream (swoooon!). I know a lot of you look forward to the autumn return of Starbucks' Pumpkin Spice Latte. I had a taste of somebody's once, but wasn't crazy about it myself. I recently tried the Salted Caramel Mocha Latte (iced) though, and found it interesting enough that I'll probably eventually get another one.

Mr. Remarkable Monkey is quite fond of Chick-Fil-A's Peppermint Chocolate Chip shake. I'm not a big fan of the mint/chocolate combo in general, but he sure enjoys them! He's also been diggin' the Sam Adams Octoberfest beer.

The one thing that I REALLY wanted to try this year was Kellogg's Pumpkin Pie Pop Tarts. I gave up Pop Tarts years ago, except for special occasions like vacations or hurricane watches in our area, but the lure of a pumpkin pie flavored version intrigued me. As luck would have it, I didn't get around to shopping for them until last week, when apparently it was pretty much too late. I searched several Target stores and a couple WalMarts with no luck... all were sold out. I considered ordering them from Amazon, but figured nah... I'd just wait until next year. And then an angel that I work with, who knew of my fruitless search, acquired a box from a WalMart near her parents' house... they must live in a fairly remote area outside of town or something, because nobody else could find them. So this angel bestowed a family pack box of Pumpkin Pie flavored Pop Tart goodness on me. Mmmmm! They are delish! Being the Pop Tarts that they are, they're maybe just a little too sweet, but toast one up and it's almost like a single serving pastry pocket of pumpkin pie. At 200 calories each, I've so far managed to limit myself to having just one per day, for dessert. (I'm out of Publix Pumpkin Pie ice cream at the moment anyway.)

I guess I have thing for pumpkin-y deliciousness (aside from the Pumpkin Spice Lattes, which maybe I should give another whirl). I'm thinking I need to get myself over to The Fresh Market for a loaf of their moist, delicious pumpkin bread. I'm also planning to make pumpkin bars soon for the gang at work as a thanks for their support of my efforts in the Making Strides event. I'll also make some pumpkin dog cookies for my beloved Hobey and some of his pals.

And don't even get me started on Thanksgiving... I'm already drooling just thinking about next Thursday's dinner with turkey, mashed potatoes, sliced sauteed brussels sprouts. Mr. RM will insist on green bean casserole and sweet potato casserole, also tasty. And of course, I'll be having pumpkin pie!

What are some of YOUR favorite seasonal or holiday treats?

Monkey at the Movies: Moneyball

Mr. Remarkable Monkey and I finally got around to seeing "Moneyball" last week. It was pretty good. In case you don't know, it's based on the Oakland A's general manager Billy Beane (played by Brad Pitt) and his quest to find a way to field a winning MLB team for the 2002 season with one of the lowest payrolls in the league.

I'm not an avid baseball fan, so some of the references and info probably went over my head, but the film holds up and is interesting for even a casual fan like myself. It's also a very quiet movie... literally. There seemed to be several scenes with periods of complete silence. That's not a bad thing... it just struck me as unusual in this era of explosions and loud rockin' soundtracks. I don't remember the last time I was in a movie theater and noticed such stillness... like everyone was trying not to munch their popcorn or rattle their candy wrappers too loudly during those quiet scenes.

Anyway, the movie gives you and inside look at what it took to build that 2002 A's team, and what it took to turn their slow start into a winning season. It wasn't easy. Billy Beane and his assistant GM Peter Brand (played by Jonah Hill) were trying to do things much differently than other MLB teams. Brand had earned an economics degree from Yale, and had a completely different approach on how to draft players. Together, they implemented Brand's system, and though it didn't win them the World Series, it got them close. It also made an impression on other teams, which is evident in the film's closing scenes. (Think 2004 Red Sox.)

One thing in the movie that bothered me was Pitt's frequent use of "dip", and the accompanying spitting into cups, etc. I realize he was probably trying to be true to the real life Billy Beane, but I found it terribly distracting and totally unnecessary. If it had somehow been integral to the plot or the character, it may not have seemed so gratuitous. But it didn't really add anything, and I would hate for younger boys to think it's cool since Brad Pitt did it in that baseball movie.

Overall, it was definitely worth the price of a matinee. Not sure how much longer it will be in theaters, so catch it quick or check it out on dvd, pay-per-view, Netflix or however you prefer to watch movies at home.